Fri - March 19, 2004

Billy Evans


No idea where this came from, but I'm reposting it here. Enjoy.

A touching true story: Please help little Billy Evans.

My name is Billy Evans. I am a very sick little boy. My mother is
typing this for me, because I can't. She is crying. The reason she is
so sad is because I'm so sick.

I was born without a body. It doesn't hurt, except when I try to
breathe. The doctors gave me an artificial body. It is a burlap bag
filled with leaves. The doctors said that was the best they could do on
account of us having no money or insurance. I would like to have a body
transplant, but we need more money. Mommy doesn't work because she said
nobody hires crying people. I said, "Don't cry, Mommy," and she hugged
my burlap bag. Mommy always gives me hugs, even though she's allergic to
burlap and it makes her sneeze and chafes her real bad. I hope you will
help me.

You can help me if you forward this email to everyone you know.
Forward it to people you don't know, too. Dr. Johansen said that for
every person you forward this email to, Bill Gates will team up with AOL
and send a nickel to NASA. With that funding, NASA will collect prayers
from school children all over America and have the astronauts take them
up into space so that the angels can hear them better. Then they will
come back to earth and go to the Pope, and he will take up a collection
in church and send all the money to the doctors. The doctors could help
me get better then. Maybe one day I will be able to play baseball. Right
now I can only be third base.

Every time you forward this letter, the astronauts can take more
prayers to the angels and my dream will be closer to coming true.

Please help me. Mommy is so sad, and I want a body. I don't want my
leaves to rot before I turn 10. If you don't forward this email, that's
okay. Mommy says you're a mean and heartless bastard who doesn't care
about a poor little boy with only a head. She says that if you don't
stew in the raw pit of your own guilt-ridden stomach, she hopes you die
a long slow horrible death and then burn forever in hell.

What kind of cruel person are you that you can't take five freakin'
minutes to forward this to all your friends so that they can feel guilt
and shame about ignoring a poor, bodiless nine-year-old boy?

Please help me. I try to be happy, but it's hard. I wish I had a
kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty. I wish I could hold a kitty that
wouldn't chew on me and try to bury its turds in the leaves of my burlap
body. I wish that

very much.

Thank You, Billy "Smiley" Evans
Posted: 03:29 AM     Read More  
Thu - March 18, 2004

Dangerous Parents


A guy came into work the other night. He was bringing his teenage daughter in to print something out for school. He was totally drunk. Yes, he was driving. Yes, with his daughter in the car.

Now my opinion is that if you want to drink and drive you should, go out alone, find a long stretch of road with a nice bridge abutment, get all sloshed up and drive right into that abutment at about 130 or so, don't bother with the seat belt.

I hope they made it home. I can't imagine endangering a child's life.
Posted: 01:21 PM     Read More  
Mon - March 15, 2004

Kids


I went to visit Jon and Laura last night for the first time in weeks. It was good to see them and their adorable kids. Talia hung all over me and gave me the following. The only part she didn't do was the words Uncle Mike. Laura wrote that. Talia is 5.

Posted: 04:51 PM     Read More  
Sat - March 13, 2004

Rant


I was going to come home and rant about work, but now I don't feel like it. So here is a pic of a book cover.



If you don't know the book, you should, especially if you have kids.
Posted: 12:52 AM     Read More  
Fri - March 12, 2004

The Little Things


"I said, I like the little things...the way a glass feels in your hand, a good glass, thick, with a heavy base." - - "I love the sound an ice cube makes when you drop it from just the right height." - - "Too high and it'll chip when you drop it...chip the ice and it'll melt too fast in the scotch." - - "Good scotch sits in a charcoal barrel for 12 years. Very good scotch gets smoked for 29 years. Johnny Walker Blue...is 60 year old scotch."

"I'm an alcoholic, I don't have one drink. I don't understand people who have one drink. I don't understand people who leave half a glass of wine on the table. I don't understand people who say they've had enough. How can you have enough of feeling like this? How can you not want to feel like this longer? My brain works differently."

Can you name that show? This monologue is from one of my favorite episodes. I never had an inkling of what an alcoholic felt or thought like till I heard this wonderful actor deliver the above lines.
Posted: 03:41 AM     Read More  
New Work Schedule
Georgia On My Mind
Time to Post Again
Scrubs
K'pyn

©